She’s a bloody tramp, isn’t she?
--Duchy of Cornwall resident to CNN


Thanks to our trashy event-addicted media, one couldn’t escape coverage of a foolish and doddering Prince Charles legalizing 30 plus years of sport sex with Godzilla Parker-Bowles this fine spring Saturday.
CNN’s morning coverage was unintentionally hilarious and succeeded only in reinforcing the lunacy of royal pretensions.
My favorite CNN anchor remark, delivered as cameras tracked a freshly hitched Rottweiler, was, believe it or not:

“All the years of sleeping around have finally paid off.”



The Princes chat with new step-sibs

Though visually obvious from a variety of camera angles, the biggest news of the day was not noticed by CNN’s poorly prepared anchors; Prince William, royal hunk and a less baggage-laden successor to Elizabeth II, is showing early signs of male pattern baldness.
Never fear.
If Wills requires plugs they can be easily harvested from new step mummy’s droopy upper lip!

Photos: BBC, Getty
- posted by Sean @ 11:44 PM 0 comments  

 
Not Pope-ular


From the Associated Press:

President Bush's appearance in Vatican City didn't go over well with many in the crowd gathered for the pope's funeral.
Some people outside St. Peter's Square booed and whistled when the his face was shown on giant video monitors set up for the thousands who couldn't get into the square.

Image: Agence France-Presse
- posted by Sean @ 11:14 PM 0 comments  

 
Guck Fest


As the President and First Daughter booty dance before different audiences, a C-SPAN-televised National Press Club “professional event” entitled “Who is a Journalist?” took place this morning in the springtime freshness of a pope-emptied Washington.

The event’s chief claim to our news-weary attention and the subject of much web-based criticism was the inclusion of former White House correspondent and male prostitute Jeff Gannon on a panel of young reporters and bloggers.
As what is turning into “Schadenfreude Week” continues, the event will be repeated tonight on C-SPAN 2 at 8PM EDT and I would recommend its amusingly unwholesome addition to your evening viewing schedule.
The word “prostitute” hovered unspoken during an hour and a half that pitifully pretended not to focus exclusively on the 8” cut focus of all Washington’s breathy non-broadcast attentions.
While one audience question made brief mention of Jeff’s “illegal activities”, the best part came after the event’s unsatisfying and hurried conclusion and before C-SPAN cut away from the Press Club site when a chubby little fellow, identified as Mike Rogers from blogActive.com by John Aravosis of AmericaBlog.com, yelled out “Jeff, did you ever sleep with Scott McClellen?” and “Did you ever sleep with anyone on the White House staff prior to getting your daily pass?" before storming out, with cameras tracking, yelling "What about Ken Mehlman?", “He’s a pig.” and “What a farce!”
The Press Club event was a farce but, then, what in Washington isn’t farcical these postmillennial days?

Images: npc.press.org, AmericaBlog.com, wonkette.com
- posted by Sean @ 1:04 PM 0 comments  

 
"A lotta sinners here. Lotta sinners."
--Cal Thomas, FOX


The satanic death's rictus of Paul Wolfowitz and a haggard and laughably dressed Paula Zahn graced Washington's annual media disgrace more commonly known as the White House Correspondent's Dinner as seen in this poorly framed Washington Post photo.
The tired Washington Hilton venue had to reek of Vaseline and Jurgen's lotion as papal funeral also-rans massaged each other's bruised egos in an atmosphere made festive by a Dick Cheney comedy routine as reported by Mark Leibovich:

The dinner was short on celebrity beyond the garden variety of Washington types...Hollywood was barely represented...and no one's heart seemed all that much in it anyway.

Sounds like my kind of schadenfreude!

A Blogscript
It seems from my brief foray onto the internets this morning that Blogger, the software that enables this humble portion of webdom, has been skittish during my past few days of personal news and opinion revulsion and has received criticism from highly critical net addicts.
Know, dear reader, that the shortage of posts in this space has been due to illness and an inability to find humor in the news of these icky post modern days.
In my opinion, the Blogger software has almost always performed beautifully and I have zero complaints.
It might behoove the excessively critical to step outside to acquire a clean healthy lungfull of spring air.
The folks at Blogger should know that a Blogger tee (XL) or mousepad would be a most welcome reward for my unsolicited defense!

Image: Washinghton Post
- posted by Sean @ 1:24 PM 0 comments  

 

Here is a wonderful comfort soup and a tantalizing cake sure to distract your attention from soaring gasoline prices as effectively as a dead Pope, Bush Terror Alert or manufactured Moral Outrage.

Cream of Onion, Leek and Shallot Soup

1 medium Sweet Onion, peeled and chopped
2 medium Yellow Onions, peeled and chopped
1 large Leek, trimmed, washed and chopped
3 to 4 Shallots, peeled and chopped
3 cloves of Garlic, peeled and chopped
2 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
49 ½ ounce can of Chicken Broth
½ cup heavy Cream
1 Tsp Sea Salt
White Pepper

In a large saucepan sauté the first 5 ingredients in the Olive Oil until tender.
Add Chicken Broth, Cream, Sea Salt and White Pepper and bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
Process cooled soup mixture, in batches, in a blender.
Serve hot or cold.

Sour Cream and Pecan Sugar Cake
Preheat oven to 350

Butter and non stick spray a 13 ½ X 9” baking dish and set aside.

Cake
1 ½ sticks plus 1 Tbsp softened Butter
2 cups All Purp Flour
2 Tsp Baking Powder
½ Tsp Baking Soda
¼ Tsp Sea Salt
1 1/3 cups Sour Cream
¼ cup Maple Syrup
½ cup Pecan pieces
1 1/3 cups Granulated Sugar plus a separate ¼ cup of Sugar
½ Tsp ground Cinnamon
2 large Eggs
2 Tsps Vanilla Extract

Glaze
1 1/3 cups Powdered Sugar
3 Tbsp Sour Cream
1 Tbsp Maple Syrup
1 ½ Tsp Lemon Juice
½ Tsp grated Lemon peel
1 Tsp Vanilla Extract

For Cake—Combine Flour, Baking Powder, Baking Soda and Salt in a medium bowl.
Mix Sour Cream and Maple Syrup in another medium bowl.
Mix the Pecan pieces, Cinnamon and the separate ¼ cup of Sugar in a small bowl.
With your mixer, blend softened Butter with the 1 1/3 cups of Granulated Sugar until fluffy.
Beat in Eggs and Vanilla Extract, stopping frequently to scrape the bowl’s sides.
Add flour mixture in 3 additions alternating with portions of the Sour Cream and Maple Syrup mixture in 2 additions.
Pour half of batter into the baking dish.
Using a spatula, carefully cover the bottom of the dish with the first half of this thick batter.
Sprinkle the Pecan, Sugar and Cinnamon mixture over the top of the poured batter and then cover this with the remaining batter from the mixing bowl.
Bake for 55 minutes or until a tester comes out clean.
Cool completely on a rack. Cake can be turned out of baking dish or not depending on your preference.

For Glaze—Blend all ingrediants in a medium bowl.
Let the beaten mixture stand for 30 minutes to thicken somewhat.
Pour glaze over the completely cooled cake.
This cake will rock your world!

Image: Google
- posted by Sean @ 8:14 PM 0 comments