Sunday, August 03, 2003
5 Pounds of Muscle!
Thanks to one-paragraph synopses of government reports, those ever so brief Daily Briefings and a killer workout régime, the smiling morning news faces were ecstatic, Saturday, over Glorious Leader‘s addition of five hard manly pounds of muscle to his lean Fighter Jock frame!
Here’s the New York Times describing the President’s weekly workout schedule:
He runs three miles three times a week, they said, uses an elliptical trainer for 25 minutes three times a week, lifts weights twice a week and "water jogs" — that is, he walks briskly through a swimming pool — once a week. They said the president "follows a flexibility program" five times a week, a reference to stretching exercises he has done since he injured his right calf.
According to the Washington Post:
An avid fitness buff, Bush has lowered his times back down to about 71/2-minute miles…Bush runs three days a week and supplements that with a "water jog" once a week in the White House pool. He also uses an elliptical trainer for 25 minutes, three times weekly, and exercises his upper body by lifting free weights twice a week.
If Mr. B holds to his 7-½ minute mile times, each three-mile run lasts 22 ½ minutes.
The President also tackles my favorite gym device, the latest generation Elliptical Cross Trainer, for 25 presidential minutes three times a week. Then those twice weekly free weight sessions, that once a week water jog and the five-day per week flexibility program all of unknown daily duration. Of course the President has to change in and out of gym clothes, shower and possibly steam, barber and massage. All told, a considerable chunk of presidential time devoted to the maintenance of our Hardbod in Chief.
But the morning news funsters didn’t stop there! No kids, according to those peppy unknown faces populating Saturday morning Toobland, this month long Presidential vacation is a “working vacation because the President is going to be briefed.”
How many fellow viewers also subconsciously made the Sign of the Cross as this chirped out of a pixie face?
Yes my fellow Americans between workouts (and God only knows how long a vacation workout is), brush clearing, driving a truck to a locked-down Crawford for regular guy activities, constant fund-raising trips and early bedtimes those pesky briefings better be “darned” brief before they (giggle) “rise to the presidential level”!