Art Pottery, Politics and Food
Friday, February 02, 2007

While it was certainly tempting to jump on the laugh-packed new media bandwagon careening recklessly downhill and away from the scene of near total Aqua Teen Hunger Force devastation, I chose, as I so often do with cartoons, to sit back and allow the animator to work his magic.
I just happened to catch one of CNN’s early breathless reports of “devices”.
CNN, I guess quoting police sources but who knows, fairly quickly associated “these devices” with the improvised weaponry of the Iraq Theater.
The devices, “as far as can be determined, are consistent” with IEDs.
CNN reported the consistencies as being “a circuit board and wiring connected to a battery”.
And then, an odder than usual look to Blitzer’s gimlet eye as all of Time-Warner seemed to coalesce into “a statement released by Turner Broadcasting that the devices are part of a marketing campaign and are ‘magnetic lights that pose no danger.’”
Why you could almost hear the vacuum seal Tupperware burp of memory hole as somebody within the Luce-founded food chain realized a synergized liability.
The new American shame of hauling dreadlocked, giggling and stupidly sarcastic college boys, called guerilla marketers, before the perverted and rapine bar of (and, I’d really like to have a sound-effect here of a whip crack) patriot justice came yesterday and is sure to catch on among the rebellious and cutting edge.
The broad umbrella of micro-manufactured crime, after all, is the new Draft for older adolescents who escape the temptations of industrial solvent drug addiction and need not exclude Boston’s cartoon advertising terrorists and a few lowly Time-Warner suits.
I’ve been waiting to see if someone at Cartoon Network or Turner had the presence of mind to apply for and get city permits for outdoor advertising in any or all of the ten cities in the campaign.
Boston city permits would crack this nut in short order except that I sense we are still in the “’wabbit season, duck season” opening portion of this particular cartoon.
As the head Mooninite would say:

Observe, Err, the coolest word in the dictionary, “butthole”.

I have no doubt we are sure to see a few no matter if briefs are filed or even worn.
But, as God is my witness, I know, having watched a few Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes, that after all the wrangling it will be poor Carl’s suburban Jersey house vanishing into a smoking crater.

Images: AP,,,
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
"Inner Boy” Tractor Maniac

Looks like a decision's been made by the Decider...

An interesting fact-blurring practice by the corporate media is usually argued as a simple difference of perception between people.
That difference of perception is, of course, one of degree.
But, for the sweating meat puppets of cable TV nooz and their sweatier print/radio counterparts, “degree” is a word banished to weather coverage.
A horrifying, or not, example can be found in the contrast between a Newsweek blogger’s perception of President Bush’s tractor ride, yesterday, in Peoria, ILL and that of the Los Angeles Times.
The blogger saw this:

"I would suggest moving back," Bush said as he climbed into the cab of a massive D-10 tractor. "I'm about to crank this sucker up." As the engine roared to life, White House staffers tried to steer the press corps to safety, but when the tractor lurched forward, they too were forced to scramble for safety. “Get out of the way!" a news photographer yelled. "I think he might run us over!" said another. White House aides tried to herd the reporters the right way without getting run over themselves. Even the Secret Service got involved, as one agent began yelling at reporters to get clear of the tractor. Watching the chaos below, Bush looked out the tractor's window and laughed, steering the massive machine into the spot where most of the press corps had been positioned. The episode lasted about a minute, and Bush was still laughing when he pulled to a stop. He gave reporters a thumbs-up. "If you've never driven a D-10, it's the coolest experience," Bush said.

The LA Times reports:

He climbed aboard, telling reporters, "I would suggest moving back. I'm about to crank this sucker up."
With that, the machine came to life, moving forward on its yellow metal treads, until the president brought it to a halt about 20 feet down the line and started it on a backward turn. When Bush climbed down from the cab, the inner boy was shining through, and a broad, sheepish grin crossed his face.
"Oh, yeah," he said.
"If you've never driven a D10," he told the workers and managers a few minutes later, "it's a cool experience."

Yes, a simple difference of perception which itself can be subjected to further conveniently perceptive differences.
I guess, even, “some people” might consider these differences more philosophical than the concrete proofs demanded by reality-based whiners:

Is this a tractor, which I see before me,
the starter toward my hand?
Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
to feeling as to sight? Or art thou but
a tractor of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppress'd brain?


Modified and Unmodified Images: AFP, Reuters
Tuesday, January 30, 2007

No matter's posted Daily Fashion Checklist which says:

Make sure you're wearing suitable socks and underwear. You don't want to be caught off guard with holes in your socks or wearing your less-than-adequate underwear.

Former Bush Deputy Secretary of Defense and current World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz was photographed, Sunday in Edirne, Turkey, leaving the Selimiye mosque with holes in the toe of both his socks.
Can you imagine the looks, among dignitaries gathered in the Ottoman-era mosque, directed toward the American with the naked toes?
If Dick Cheney's consentration camp parka and Wolfowitz's sock holes weren't shame enough may I, as first noticed by a sharp-eyed online commenter from the great northwest, point out the stains on the left pant leg of dirty Wolfie's dirty suit?
Formerly famous for licking his comb in Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 while grooming the remains of his hair, Mr. Wolfowitz now insures his grubby world stage infamy with a trail of sweaty toe prints.
But, of course, it gets worse as Circumlocutor posted yesterday:

After the visit (and with his shoes, thankfully, on his feet), he attempted to buy two necklaces for his daughters in the shopping area next to the mosque. Realizing he did not have sufficient money ($275 YTL - about $196) to pay for the necklaces, he had to borrow it from his security detail.

America standing tall, not, with the open-toed chiseler.

Photos: AP

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