Tuesday, November 25, 2003
As the drug companies and HMO’s line up at the public trough for a little Republican enabled binge feeding, privatized former Bushies, mouths and hands opened wide, stand under that shaking trough and between the gorging behemoths hoping catch a bit of the greasy overflow.
Exclusive to the Washington Speaker’s Bureau, Ari Fleischer will, for Fee Codes ranging from 1 to 6, draw on his two years of experience to “bring audiences into the corridors of the West Wing by detailing typical and not-so-typical days inside the White House.”
How marvelous and, as the Fee Codes indicate, how lucrative for Ari!
For an unspecified public event with a Fee Code of 1, Ari can receive payments ranging from $1,000 to $7,500.
I’m thinking this might be a quick 15-minute off-the-cuff job with a no questions stipulation.
Undescribed after lunch speeches coded 2 have our Ari pocketing from $7,501 to $10,000 for a grueling luncheon that likely entails a few postprandial questions.
Code 3’s average $10 to $15 thousand and, again I’m guessing, Ari actually composes a good 20 to 30 minute speech followed by 10 minutes of audience questions and maybe a little tongue.
With a $15,001 to $25,000 Code 4, I’m still thinking Ari pairs less than 60 minutes of prepared Current Events remarks with a lengthy Q and A and a trashier wardrobe.
Code 5’s with Fees of $25,001 to $40,000 likely involve Ari’s more revealing topics, each with a guaranteed climax, such as the listed The President: A Measure of Leadership or Crisis Communications: Practical Applications for Unpredictable Times.
Who is he kidding, huh?
I can just hear the various Kiwanis clamoring can’t you?
Hold on folks there is enough of Ari for everybody because I’m imagining he’ll even stay the night for a WSB Code 6 Fee schedule ranging from $40,001 and up.
Sounds like our Ari won’t have to cut his medication in half or decide between food and prescriptions.
Modified image: Washington Speaker's Bureau, Ron English