Friday, December 31, 2004
You Can't Buy Loyalty
Big drippy crocodile tears splashed onto my keyboard as I read in this morning’s New York Times that Mr. Bush’s Inaugural with be too expensive for many of his 6-figure fund-raisers.
What with admission tickets for various faux-snazzy events priced (in Enron scale) at a quite reasonable $2,500 per person, up and coming lawyer and gravy train wanna-be’s are being forced to trim expenses and, among other things, stay at (shudder) less expensive overnight venues.
Needless to say, I’m just sick that hordes of chinless young Rethuglicans, having grown accustomed to small town graft and the finer motels, will be forced to chafe their delicate rumps with abrasive 2-digit thread count linens at accommodations normally frequented by (again shudder) average honest citizens.
According to the Times:
Justin J. Sayfie, a 36-year-old Florida lawyer who raised at least $200,000 for Mr. Bush, said that he sought a less expensive hotel.
Slater Bayliss, a 28-year-old Florida lawyer who raised at least $50,000…is using a frequent flyer ticket to get to Washington and is likely to forgo the city's finer restaurants.
Aw, doesn’t it just break your heart?
And, anyway, what kind of a freaking name is “Slater”?
Compassionate conservative Steve Schmidt, communications director for the Presidential Inaugural Committee, in a Social Security harbinger says:
People have the option of …attending the events that are free of charge.
A free Bush event???
Like maybe the Sharon Bush (Neal’s ex) Sterno-lit Dinner under a yet-to-be-selected bridge in Rock Creek Park?
Yes, at Sharon’s imaginary gala, price conscious fund-raisers will glimpse power party capitol nightlife watching radio personalities free-base and House members cruising for rough trade within the romantic and patriotic blue glow from flickering sterno-light.
Attendees should pack an extra blanket or two, finger-less gloves and, perhaps, a condom to pass a frosty January night awaiting a Presidential no show.
Ah, price-conscious fun in the price-conscious Imperium is always so price-conscious, isn’t it?
Reading between the NYT lines, I’m guessing casual Inaugural observers should restrict overt gloating as Bush supporters, specially these price-conscious ones, will tend to be ever more sen-ska-tive.
District of Columbia cabbies along with guest accommodation and service workers should also expect festive Bushies to be even more tip inhibited than usual while suffering through the economic hardships of this Georgian Inaugural…be forewarned, people, and offer equivalent service.