Monday, January 31, 2005
For those of you modern trendies not quite drunk or high or erect enough here in post modern over-wired America and confidently preceding President Bush's State of the Union 2005 comes the nick of time arrival of caffeinated beer and cell phone TV to our attention deprived, lightening-paced and firmly engorged marketplace.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, your ability to mindlessly burn cash, now while speeding and drunk, just increased thanks to good old human know how and cold-blooded marketing.
Envelope-pushing executives, I imagine, are presently exploring other hallucinatory beverage additives to broaden consumer acceptance of ever more useless and expensive wireless product delivery.
But, Mom, Paris Hilton and the Bush twins have one….
According to the Anheuser-Busch BE press release:
Contemporary adults thirst for…a beverage that is true to their lifestyles and range of drinking occasions…outside the boundaries of the taste adults would expect.
Yeah, of course, a mass-produced, mass-marketed mind alterant that’s true to my unique late teenaged individuality.
And while your brain is still whirling from that bit of PR jibber let’s grab of $200 Vcast wireless phone for a pricey and highly compressed “mobisode” (a miniaturizing of program content for cell phone delivery) of an already compressed TV drama or scripted cable newscast.
Remember you will be too drunk and wired to notice that the newscast only lasted 30 seconds and didn’t really tell you anything but left you with a warm lingering impression of having been informed.
Ah, yes, those may have been the days, weren’t they?
Only light posting today, as I’m busy trying to decide which false nose I want to wear for the duration of the Jackson trial.
Should it be the noble Roman, the cute upturned pixie or the boyish pug?
And, then, of course, what color?
Should my false nez du légalité be flesh, deathly white or Nicole Kidman?
Needless to say, the snouts are flying here at planetsean global HQ.
Images: Anheuser-Busch, Verison, Google