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Friday, January 28, 2005
 
"Shroud of Rummy" Dates From Early 70’s


The "Shroud of Rummy", believed by death-cultists to be the original burial shroud of Donald Rumsfeld, actually dates, according to new scientific analysis, from his first stint as Defense Secretary sometimes during the Nixon administration.
The ghoulish Rumsfeld, presently hiding from Vampire Killers based in Munich, Germany, has fumed to aides that scientists must return his old burial wrap.
“The Secretary feels the newer shrouds lack a certain cozy mustiness”, said the Pentagon's chief spokesman, Lawrence T. Di Rita.
Di Rita also said yesterday, “The Secretary has weighed a variety of competing shrouds”, and left open the possibility of a new one.
“I just don’t know what we’ll end up wrapping him in,” said Di Rita in a phone interview.

Trailor Trash

According to the Washington Post:

Cheney stood out in a sea of black-coated world leaders...the vice president looked like an awkward boy amid the well-dressed adults...Would he have dared to take the oath of office with a ski cap on?

Modified Image: mtholyoke.edu, Google, AP

- posted by Sean @ 9:36 AM
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