Thursday, May 05, 2005
The corporate press, crazed with a bad girl fetish this spring, is still in a dither over the First Lady’s blue White House Correspondents Dinner remarks.
The right wing genus of the specie is frantically treading the heavy water of da Nile.
A Washington Times OpEd accompanied by a scary photo of the Jackie Suzanne look-alike writer is fairly typical with spin celebrating Laura’s achievement of “a distinctive personality with dignity” and a studious avoidance of what has come to be called “the horse joke”.
Normally nutty Michelle Malkin, likely because of the seeming frigidity noted during TV interviews, breaks character and, if you’ll pardon the expression, takes the First Lady’s horse reference firmly in hand:
I think the stripper and horse jokes were totally beneath her…The First Lady resorting to cheap horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name.
Can a Focus on the Family tirade against SpongeLaura Squaredress be far from the nation’s balanced airwaves?
Dr. Dobson and Rev. Dr. Frist could orchestrate a cheap, quickie and very Republican divorce for the naughty language shattered First Couple and some sort of Christian closed-circuit TV hunt for a more submissive, nonsmoking and preferably mute helpmate for our allegedly Christ-like President.
And if this God-approved new fiancée would have the temerity to runaway before the wedding…?
Golly, the mind boggles.
Are there enough hours in the cable news days to accommodate the wall-to-wall coverage?
All this nonsense over “the horse joke”, while amusing to Kitty Kelly, has no doubt left former First Lady Don Corleone, or “Tony Soprano” as la Kitty prefers, dripping foam onto her trademark pearls.
And, while I doubt a bloody Scotch Terrier head will ever grace Laura’s Family Quarters boudoir, a comment by Susan Whitson, press secretary to the current First Lady, I think, more reflects the feelings of the true Bush family eminence grise than any corporate press spin:
"I doubt there will be an encore performance.”
Cooler heads, hunting for “a horse joke” scapegoat, need look no further than a May 4th gossip item posted on MSNBC:
The first lady…switched hairdressers…since January’s inauguration.
Well, that explains everything.
Aside from their zesty penchant for colorful language and outrageous style is there any profession that exerts more influence over women than hair stylists?
I think not.
Quick, someone get on the horn for Bar and see what FedEx charges to overnight a terrier head to a Washington Salon and Day Spa.