Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The President with his training wheeled mountain bike
I’m sure President Bush, blissfully “getting on” with his Wayne’s World vacation, literally skipped down to his medium carb breakfast this morning with news that Lance Armstrong will join the presidential biking party Saturday.
I can just hear Laura say, “Bushie, stop gulping your Huevos Rancheros and calm down.
Remember, today’s only Wednesday.
You’ve got 8 naps, 2 bar-b-cues, fishing, golf and, at least, a good half-page of Salt to get through before Mr. Armstrong arrives.
You’ve got to pace yourself to maintain your balanced vacation.
We can’t have you falling from tripping over your feet in lancecitement.”
“Yes, ma’am”, a sullen President mutters into a bowl of soggy cereal before howling and running out the door holding a sand wedge like a billy club.
The First Lady, tapping out a cig, rolls her eyes to the ceiling, shakes her head and says to no one in particular, “God help us all”, before grabbing the phone to make sure Bartlett has insured that Armstrong will let the President outpace the seven-time Tour du France winner and, God forbid, not pass him.
With the “working” vacation and presidential denial in full swing, it is important to reflect, with the assistance of the Waco Tribune and the Polk County, Florida Ledger, upon the seriousness of the President’s most recent public utterances:
I exercise six times a week; if I'm not mountain biking, I'll be on the elliptical machine or lifting weights.
It's important for me to be thoughtful and sensitive…it's also important for me to go on with my life, to keep a balanced life.
I think the people want the president to…stay healthy and part of my being is to be outside exercising.
I've got a life to live and will do so.
Don't pass the president.
Party on, Mr. President!