Monday, May 01, 2006
As we mark today’s 3rd anniversary of what has become George W. Bush’s embarrassing Mission Not Quite Accomplished, let us reflect on the alleged glories of Mr. Potato Pants.
Our padded, costumed and poorly read leader has faced many photo op challenges over these many years but none as daunting or nearly as quasi-believable as the painful testicular bondage endured while being shamefully photographed and mainstream media buffed on the sunset-kissed flight deck of the USS Lincoln in 2003.
Fresh from Mr. Bush’s painful upstaging at the hands of Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert this past Saturday evening and before today’s glorious anniversary of flight-suited foolery, our crimson-cheeked leader assembled yet another horde of swaggering goons to, this time, magic marker our brave hero Colbert out of mainstream media consciousness and rewrite the third anniversary of the USS Lincoln fiasco as something other than gross neoconservative hubris and political grandstanding.
Let us fill our freshly rinsed mental void with a few of the dusk-colored words uttered by our always boldly scripted Mr. Bush on that time-lost flight deck:
Operation Iraqi Freedom was carried out with a combination of precision and speed and boldness…Marines and soldiers charged to Baghdad across 350 miles of hostile ground in one of the swiftest advances of heavy arms in history…I have a special word for Secretary Rumsfeld…America is grateful for a job well done…Iraqi civilians…saw strength and kindness and good will…we can achieve military objectives without directing violence against civilians…Our war against terror is proceeding according to the principles that I have made clear…The war on terror is not over…but we have seen the turning of the tide.
Only this morning, and without the comforting support of a hidden potato or prop troops, Mr. Bush, again, claimed yet another Iraqi tide/corner turned as his kissing Saudi cousins announced they have significantly reduced the price of gasoline for domestic Saudi consumers.
NOTE--I would have posted early this morning had Blogger been working...sorry.
Photos: AFP, Playskool, Reuters