Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Do You Take Cream in Your Eloi?
A gentleman who goes by the Al Capp-esque Internet moniker of Dave of the Jungle said it best in a comment area of a blog I frequent.
In a discussion of the Virginia Senate race, Dave, probably swinging comic-strippily from an elastic e-vine as I type, included the President as another example saying, “We're living in the era of Submediocre-Rich-Boys.”
The royal marriage of old money’s industrialists and the evolving top tier of politicals and corporate boards and their attendant pets and spawn that produced our selfish neo-imperial era, heavily 4th dimensionally threatened by the intellectual leveling afforded by a free Internet, possibly faces a major battle in the days following the offing 2006 American midterm election.
Victory for the neo-right will herald the slow but sure birth of a permanent two-class system in America over the nurtured maintenance of our endangered three class (4 if one counts the homeless) conventional order.
I needn’t bore you with my “take” other than to point out what I call a “Golly Gee Science Story” that appeared in newspapers across our planet yesterday, a hackneyed journalistic staple recut from the fantasy cloth and cheap intellectual rigor that brought us the ill-favored New American Century.
The story, variously scream-headlined as “Human species may split” re-postulated the absurd separate track H.G. Wellsian evolution of rich Eloi and poor Morlock in a manner reminiscent of 1962’s pop prediction of a “futuristic” 1972 flying car and atomic tomato.
According to this farcical hoax of a sci-fi genre news story, evolutionarily advanced rich males will possess:
Symmetrical facial features, look athletic, and have squarer jaws, deeper voices and bigger penises.
Luscious and vaginally upperclass future females will be blessed with:
Lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features…Racial differences will be ironed out by interbreeding, producing a uniform race of coffee-colored people.
Sadly, for the wealthy white and little brown descendants of George H.W. Bush and a Caucasian culture’s desire for symmetry, I interpret “coffee-colored” as black unless a specific creamer is mentioned.
I interpret this byline-less writer as having implied creaming present in the future’s rich coffee along with an abundance of other equally ludicrous and laughable evolutionary theories of a Cheneyesque and Wolfowitzian nature.
The poor, for example if you remember them, a sad and poorly dressed lot with, I suspect, asymmetrical features, are contrasted with the lucky rich, I kid you not, as evolving thusly:
The genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.
Not to pee all over the racist fantasies of my imagined and intellectually stunted Wolfowitzite from yesterday’s yellow press but I have run across the occasional “goblin-like” rich boy and girl in my short time within this veil of human tears.
I usually didn’t say anything as their features were more or less symmetrical and their precoffee-colored endowments large…
But, I digress into a cheap sarcasm more appropriate to the dim recesses of an underclass tavern rather than the icy pristine winds of a leveled, post-modern and not quite so “slim” web.
Will the racism evident in George “Felix Macaca” Allen’s unguarded speech and the elitist race-baiting, contextually visible in Mother Bush’s description of stadium-bound Katrina refugees, be newly destined for a faux-leather-bound future of think tank policy papers and, dare I in today's Foley-tainted Washington say, endowments?
Fantasy newspaper speculation, however and yes I mean you PNAC, often has, perish the thought, an even darker side, a side where our failed PNACian might glimpse a snatch of sunlight if they could just stop thinking about that large coffee-colored penis for a minute or two:
Spoiled by gadgets designed to meet their every need, they [future rich people] could come to resemble domesticated animals…Chins would recede, as a result of having to chew less on processed food.
I shudder to think that the chinless bovines of today’s political/media landscape could evolve into tomorrow’s over-endowed chinless bovines.
There is a just God!
Modified Image: George Pal's 1960 production-The Time Machine, Reuters