Friday, February 02, 2007
While it was certainly tempting to jump on the laugh-packed new media bandwagon careening recklessly downhill and away from the scene of near total Aqua Teen Hunger Force devastation, I chose, as I so often do with cartoons, to sit back and allow the animator to work his magic.
I just happened to catch one of CNN’s early breathless reports of “devices”.
CNN, I guess quoting police sources but who knows, fairly quickly associated “these devices” with the improvised weaponry of the Iraq Theater.
The devices, “as far as can be determined, are consistent” with IEDs.
CNN reported the consistencies as being “a circuit board and wiring connected to a battery”.
And then, an odder than usual look to Blitzer’s gimlet eye as all of Time-Warner seemed to coalesce into “a statement released by Turner Broadcasting that the devices are part of a marketing campaign and are ‘magnetic lights that pose no danger.’”
Why you could almost hear the vacuum seal Tupperware burp of memory hole as somebody within the Luce-founded food chain realized a synergized liability.
The new American shame of hauling dreadlocked, giggling and stupidly sarcastic college boys, called guerilla marketers, before the perverted and rapine bar of (and, I’d really like to have a sound-effect here of a whip crack) patriot justice came yesterday and is sure to catch on among the rebellious and cutting edge.
The broad umbrella of micro-manufactured crime, after all, is the new Draft for older adolescents who escape the temptations of industrial solvent drug addiction and need not exclude Boston’s cartoon advertising terrorists and a few lowly Time-Warner suits.
I’ve been waiting to see if someone at Cartoon Network or Turner had the presence of mind to apply for and get city permits for outdoor advertising in any or all of the ten cities in the campaign.
Boston city permits would crack this nut in short order except that I sense we are still in the “’wabbit season, duck season” opening portion of this particular cartoon.
As the head Mooninite would say:
Observe, Err, the coolest word in the dictionary, “butthole”.
I have no doubt we are sure to see a few no matter if briefs are filed or even worn.
But, as God is my witness, I know, having watched a few Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes, that after all the wrangling it will be poor Carl’s suburban Jersey house vanishing into a smoking crater.
Images: AP, Bostonist.com, Quotidiano.it, Repubblica.it